Today’s Tip: Stop lying to the most important person in your life and Thursday Links

In other words, stop lying to yourself.

I have made some f*cked up life detours because I was terrified to be honest about what I wanted and needed.  Lousy jobs, lousy men, lousy life.

A recent phone call with a social media client reminded me that lying to ourselves about what we want professionally and personally is an express lane to disappointment, boredom, frustration and rage.  After coaching sessions in 2013, the client is still on the fence about how she can use social media to benefit her professionally. Our phone call revealed the following:

  • She wants to use social media to build momentum but is afraid to actually use social media.
  • She wants to gain social media expertise but is afraid to actually use social media.
  • She wants to share news via social media but is afraid to actually use social media.

Finally, in the interest of time, I addressed the possibility that she was lying to herself about liking social media.  She had many opportunities to engage in social media marketing and networking on her terms, but seemed to find any excuse why she couldn’t. I told her that instead of seeing her inaction and disengagement as a one-off, maybe she could acknowledge it as a neon sign that social media didn’t interest her. Once she admitted that, she might free up her time to focus on the networking and professional development opportunities that made her feel good instead of blah.

She protested and I politely reminded her that her inaction didn’t support her protests. At this point, I had to attend another meeting.  Now, if I was lying to myself about how I could help her get over her social media hesitation, I would have suggested a check in phone call in a few weeks.  But I know for me to feel good about what I do, I need to work with engaged, interested and motivated clients.  Being honest about my needs frees me to focus on what works best for me. Hopefully, my client will experience similar epiphanies in the days ahead.

Now on to the Thursday Links…

Homogenization breeds complacency. [thisisgoingtobebig]

I enjoy the secrecy apps, Whisper and Secret. I do not enjoy the thought of Whisper using their access to users info for privacy invasion and profit. [guardian]

Why I loathe dexting. [medium]

Just because we live in an immediate gratification world doesn’t mean we have to choose to sustain it. [hbr]


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