***The Thursday Interview is a showcase for creators, innovators, troublemakers, business owners to share news and insight about the creative impetus and inspirations behind their latest project, launch or business.
Does he like me? What if she doesn’t want a second date? Why didn’t she text me back?!!!
These are a few of the questions that usually bedevil daters. Very few of us have a dating life that isn’t romantic swooning coupled with bouts of doubt and anxiety. So who amongst us couldn’t benefit from having a compassionate insightful sounding board? Carla Ashley is here to share how she became a dating and relationship advisor that helps many love wisely.
Name: Carla Ashley
Launch Date: April 11, 2016
Motto: Love Wisely
Theme Song: Kelly Price – It’s My Time
Describe your path to becoming a dating and relationship advisor.
I grew up knowing I wanted to find true love. I just had no clue how to go about finding it, the process of dating that is. I pretty much winged my early 20s assuming every guy I would come across was looking to marry based on my own upbringing. “Dating and courtship go hand in hand and you date only with the intent of marriage.” – My parents. Boy was I wrong! Everyone out here DOES NOT have that mindset, but to find love you have to find someone who IS on the same page as yourself.
It took a lot of trial and error which as you can guess led to much heartbreak due to my own hopeless romanticism. I had to change the game plan and start to date wisely. I’d been keeping a journal since my middle school days and noticed the trend that most of my entries were centered around my dating/love life and the lessons I’d learned from each experience. These entries became more elaborate into my adult dating life as you can imagine and with the birth of social media in the past decade I had begun sharing more of my personal life with my close friends.
Before I knew it, I was receiving texts or random inbox messages from friends that had either known me personally or friends I simply connected with through networking who were asking me to provide them with feedback on their own dating dilemmas. The advice requests would pour in in spurts. Sometimes a random person in public, once a lady in the post office and another time my neighbor in passing, would approach me saying that they need someone to ask advice about regarding the person they’re seeing and I looked like someone they could talk to. It was odd, but I welcomed their story and provided what help I could give.
My dating experiences have ranged greatly and one day I just decided to embrace why this was all happening to me. The lessons from each relationship, the random requests for advice, the heavy journaling…it was all a part of the bigger picture, my purpose…to use my lessons to help others.
How does blogging enhance the insight you provide to your clients?
Blogging has been the bridge connecting me to my audience’s hearts and emotions. I receive messages sporadically from readers who have let me know that they appreciate my openness to share my past and some of my current experiences and feelings. I focus on building a level of trust by showing both the pain and the strength of each dating experience I have conquered and how it has helped me get to where I am today…Able to help others from the lessons I’ve learned.
What are your go-to resources to building your business?
@Womeneur – I follow this page on Instagram for tons of business building support, tips, and encouragement.
Copromote.com – A true God-send! I was told about this app/website recently and it’s aided greatly in gaining exposure for my social media content.
Suits & Roots Community (Facebook group)- A network of other entrepreneurs who support you, share advice, events, and open discussion on various ways to grow your business. Entrepreneurs of all phases of the success scale are there to ask and offer assistance where needed.
Best life advice you’ve received from an unlikely source?
“If you put as much effort into building a business as you put into finding a boyfriend you’d be a millionaire.”
This was a funny but relevant piece of advice given to me by my mentor when I was 20 years old. Love and relationships are my passion, learning about them, how each individual plays a part in the unit and how decisions affect each party involved. I didn’t understand her words of advice until I started my business of helping others through my content and direct advising and it helped me realize that my business would not be what it is today had I not put the years in to learn through every relationship. I just had to now begin balancing dating experiences with turning them into productive volume for the world to follow. I’ve made mistakes in love and learned so much from them. Now I’m teaching others to “Love wisely”!
While I’m not quite a millionaire yet, but I’d like to offer fee-based services in the future. For now, all of my direct advice is provided in exchange for word of mouth.
Fast forward to 2017 and what news would you love to be sharing?
I currently have my E-book for sale on my site, “You’re online dating profile- 6 Tips to attract quality potential candidates”. (Free for all blog subscribers upon email request to Carlashley@Iamcarlashley.com) In 2017, I’d love to be able to say I’ve delivered 100+ copies!
I’d like to do more guest writing for digital magazines, bloggers, and other markets within my niche. I’m working on content to be featured within The Urban Dater soon, so be on the look-out for updates and notifications by following me on my social platforms!
In early 2017, I’d love to welcome my 100th Blog Subscriber as well as my 200th Blog Subscriber this time next year and I believe it can happen.
A bigger audience and more advice requests!!! Advice requests help me gauge what my audience needs to hear most from me. I would like to begin work on my first paperback book in 2017 and partner with a publishing company and with so many great and triumphant experiences to share, my audience requests can definitely help me narrow down which points to reference most!
Shout-out time! This is your chance to spotlight your collaborators and community.
So far I’ve collaborated with Lacy Colson on a piece, “A letter to my strong single black women”. Lacy currently writes for Urban Image Magazine.
My biggest supporter has been Kendra Marshall, Singer, Songwriter, Music Producer, and Blogger of Modern Diversity. Both are entrepreneurs within their niches and I owe a huge thanks to them for their work, support, and exposure of my content and my vision.”